Why is this so hard to write about?
I've never really been one to be at a loss for words. But, then again, I've never been told that even though orphanages in China are full of children needing families, that I would have to wait 3 years and then admit that we aren't even close to getting a referral.
NOT EVEN CLOSE.......................................
And you know what? That really sucks. It sucks to write it and it definitely sucks to have to acknowledge it to myself. To have to tell my kids that "maybe" next Christmas we'll be closer to bringing Lauren home. And then realize that the "math" does not lie. The reality is that 2011 will most likely not be our year. 2012? Maybe............................
And I won't get into how I'm turning 40 this Spring. I'm not really sure if a mid-life crisis and international adoption go together very well. And for a girl that likes order and efficiency..............well, let's just say that this experience has been anything but orderly or efficient. sigh...................
What is has taught me is patience, perseverence, and humbleness. It has taught me to "let go" of the control. Accepting what I can't control and focus (as hard as it might be) on the positive.
The positive being that we are ALOT closer than we were 36 months ago.
The positive being that we are still financially, physically and emotionally committed to completing this adoption.
The positive being that "one more child" will know the love and security of a family.
The positive being that our family will gain.....a daughter..........a sister............a friend.
And here we stand.
3 years along the road to adoption.
It's been a bumpy road my friends.
A road I gladly travel.
As each step brings me closer to my daughter.
I've never really been one to be at a loss for words. But, then again, I've never been told that even though orphanages in China are full of children needing families, that I would have to wait 3 years and then admit that we aren't even close to getting a referral.
NOT EVEN CLOSE.......................................
And you know what? That really sucks. It sucks to write it and it definitely sucks to have to acknowledge it to myself. To have to tell my kids that "maybe" next Christmas we'll be closer to bringing Lauren home. And then realize that the "math" does not lie. The reality is that 2011 will most likely not be our year. 2012? Maybe............................
And I won't get into how I'm turning 40 this Spring. I'm not really sure if a mid-life crisis and international adoption go together very well. And for a girl that likes order and efficiency..............well, let's just say that this experience has been anything but orderly or efficient. sigh...................
What is has taught me is patience, perseverence, and humbleness. It has taught me to "let go" of the control. Accepting what I can't control and focus (as hard as it might be) on the positive.
The positive being that we are ALOT closer than we were 36 months ago.
The positive being that we are still financially, physically and emotionally committed to completing this adoption.
The positive being that "one more child" will know the love and security of a family.
The positive being that our family will gain.....a daughter..........a sister............a friend.
And here we stand.
3 years along the road to adoption.
It's been a bumpy road my friends.
A road I gladly travel.
As each step brings me closer to my daughter.
1 comment:
I just wanted to tell you how much I admire you as you wait on your daughter, though the wait has been long and with still more waiting before you! Many people abandon the wait for NSN and switch to SN simply because of the wait times and while that is great, I have to say that I admire those who feel that their child is waiting in the NSN program and they will wait "til the cows come home" because they know in their hearts that they must in order to find her...the one destined to be their daughter. I can not truly comprehend what it must be like. We have only done SN adoptions from the beginning.
May the Lord encourage you along the path.
Blessings,
Holly
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