Where Did Summer Go?

Summer has definately come to an end in this part of the woods! The long summer evenings are being quickly replaced with sweaters, mittens and yummy "comfort" meals like chili and stew. We just passed our 10 month waiting anniversary to bring Lauren home. According to our agency, the wait is likely to increase to between 25 - 30 months for expedited files. I have reason to believe that we may be waiting alot longer than that. My reasoning behind this is pure statistical facts that are hard to ignore. The CCAA matched 3 months of families this year. There is a chance they might match expedited families next month and if that is the case then the count rises to 4 months of files matched over a 12 month period. Our Dossier was logged in Jan'08 so theoretically there are 12 more months of "matches" to accomplish before it is our turn. If the CCAA continues with matching 3 months year then it will take 4 more years before it is our turn. If they match 4 months per year then our wait is closer to 3 more years. Either scenario is mind boggling and depressing to say the least. Especially when we were told 12-14 months until referral by our Agency last year....hmmm....just a bit off.
I spoke with our Homestudy worker who is wonderful, experienced and insightful. I expressed my frustration, anxiety and loss of direction as to what we should do. Theoretically we could do a couple of things. We could withdraw from the program, not willing to accept that there will be almost 10 years between Claire and her sister. We could stay in line and "hope for the best" like so many other families. We could try and change countries but this involves re-doing paperwork, losing the money we had paid and starting over at the end of the line. I even inquired about domestic adoption but the wait for a healthy child is approximately 8 years and the alternative is a child with severe physical,mental and social challenges. Something I don't feel our family is ready to handle.
So now my heart aches. My heart aches for the children sitting in orphanages in China awaiting their forever families. It aches for my children who ask "when" and it aches for myself and my husband who do not have the answers to give them. Our social worker understood our frustration and assured me that we are not alone in our feelings. In fact so many families are "program hopping" at the moment that the government cannot keep up and is presently 4 months behind in approving Homestudies.
So what will we do? My heart remains with China and although I'm deeply disappointed that things are the way they are I also know that we are meant to "wait it out." For if our daughter can sit patiently in a cold orphanage on the other side of the world and wait for me then surely I can sit in my warm house and wait for her.
So yes, summer has come and gone and like the picture of Evan I'm wondering just what next summer may hold.